You may have been wondering … is she raising these children solo?  For as I read through the stories up until now, I don’t make much mention of a husband or a father.

In preparation for this story I have been talking to my friends and pondering the question of what is expected of a man these days.  It was very clear in the 1950’s, the man went to work in his suit and hat.  The woman stayed in the home, cooked, cleaned and looked after the children.  Then we broke through the glass ceiling and now we are expected to work and look after the home and be grateful for the opportunity to do both.

The man too, is expected to earn a good living and take full part in cleaning, cooking and child rearing.  I certainly expected the man I married would help out in the home and be a very full time father… changing diapers, sharing the sleepless nights, equally sharing cleaning and cooking chores.  In addition, he would earn a substantial living and be grateful for the opportunity to do both.

Without further ado… here is my experience with “The Mighty Buza”.  (The name was invented by Dash and Olivia and as far as I am aware, not alcohol related).   He is loving, kind, tough and has a humor on the razor’s edge.  He thinks my “positive parenting” attitude is more of a “no discipline at all” approach to parenting.  He is my foil.  He is unerringly a more insightful and harsher judge of character than I.  He protects me.  He challenges me.  He works his butt off, so that amongst other things I have time to write this blog.  He yells at the TV and less often at the children.  The children regard him with God-like status.  He is absent a lot.  He doesn’t make school plays or presentations.  However, he takes the girls to school every morning.  He did change diapers and share sleepless nights.  He was not grateful for the opportunity to do so.  He always tells me that I am a great mom (sometimes in the same sentence as “you are not a great wife”.)  Above all, he is the father of my children.  He is my husband and  takes those responsibilities seriously.  He keeps his eyes on us and makes us feel safe.

Thus it came as no great surprise that when we went to the Opera a few nights ago (oh yes! He is an Opera Lover and I love him enough to attend the Opera with him) to see the entire Wagner’s Ring cycle.  This is about sixteen hours of Opera over a one week time period.  My husband – and  father – of my children decided to purchase Wotan’s head.  Wotan is King of the Gods in Wagner’s Ring Cycle.  As you can see, he has one mighty eye that oversees everything and everyone.  I present to you…

“The Mighty Buza!”

The Mighty Buza with the LA Opera Costume Dept. Director Jenny Green

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