I’m at my hairdressers the other day. Somehow we have fallen into a routine, where she gives me hair cutting tips for my homespun hair cuttery. I cut my own children’s hair “Chez Nicole’s Backyard”, which allows me to pay a small fortune to have my own hair professionally cut and deliciously pampered. Somehow, this backyard hairdressing “thang” has attracted other children in my neighborhood, whose ears have been unsympathetically clipped by less that caring professionals. So a child might walk out of “Chez Nicole’s Backyard” with a very crooked lopsided doo, but they will have their ears intact. A fair deal, I believe.
I digress, in exchange of hair tip favors, I, in turn, propel child-rearing advice out of my mouth at a rate of rocket speed torpedo’s zooming through inter-galactic space. Somehow Joni, keeps returning for more of my thoughts and I sincerely hope my hair cutting skills are improving.
Give me an example, Joni, I can’t just advise out of the clear blue sky. (Not entirely true, but ya know, ya wanna be polite.)
How about this one, Nicole….my eight year old son woke up this morning with:
“Hallo A–wipe!” So I wiped his mouth out with soap. I can’t help thinking there might have been a better way to deal with this.
Hmm… It took a moment for me to process this joy. It must have been painful to hear, as a parent. Probably, some anger from the son. Definitely had a funny side to it.
I’m thinking humor might be a good way to break into this one, Joni.
Humor?
Humor!
For instance…?
Well, instead of jumping directly into anger and confrontation which is what he is expecting, try…
A–wipe? Now that is an original greeting first thing in the morning. Does my A– need wiping?
OR
Good morning Sass-wipe. That’s a good way to wake me up quickly.
Hopefully that, or your own funny take on the situation will break a smile out on your little angel’s face. At which point you can address that whilst you appreciate the originality of the morning address, it was a little hurtful. It was inappropriate and if he is feeling angry, you are more likely to listen if he tells you that he is angry with you and you would like to know why.
Let us say that your wonderfully humorous approach does not make the little darling smile. He just gets in a darker and darker mood. Then try to recognize that he did indeed get out of bed on the wrong side this morning, and discuss the name-calling later that day once you and he have calmed down.
Always let him know that name calling is offensive and hurtful. But washing his mouth out with soap will always be remembered as “the day you washed my mouth out with soap!” Not WHY you washed his mouth out with soap.
Again, I reiterate…I am not a professional, just a mom with some experience behind her and once upon a time I had a great A–. But I did not know it at the time. Another story for another day. Remind me of the drug dealers on 10th and A back in NYC.
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